Feast off Weakness
by GojiraCipher
Summary: After the events of 'The Search' Azula overthinks her life and how she had fallen into this madness. Will she be able to withstand this world any longer? Has elements from 'Smoke and Shadows' Trigger warning for suicide content.


**Avatar**

 **The Last Airbender**

 **Feast of Weakness**

"Zuko … why?" Deep within a forest casted over the night sky, a girl no more than seventeen years of age ran, alone. "You are a Fire Lord! The title that rightfully belonged to me, the title you wanted to escape. Yet you accepts its power, and what do you do, show me mercy?"

Tears ran down the girls face. "You found your precious mother, the pitiful mother that loved you above all else. She showed me nothing but fear! Fear for this monster." The girl's heart raced faster as her eyes gaze aimlessly. "What do you see in that weakling, Mother? What does the nation see in that weakling? Why have I, Princess Azula, descended into this state? A level as low as those snow peasants. No … I am worse than them. I am a failure, a failure just like Zuko was. I have no honor, I have no nation. I have nothing!"

Then Azula tripped on a tree root, twisting her ankle and crying out in pain. She held her leg in agony, wishing the pain to stop. "My leg, my leg!" Azula glared at her leg, grinding her teeth painfully. "Get out my sight!" the princess cast her hand on fire and clawed at her own leg, only to cry out louder from her burnt skin. "I'm an idiot! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" With the wet soil, Azula rubbed her burned leg to ease the pain. "Stupid …. Stupid …. Stupid filth …. Am I filth?"

Azula felt nothing. The rain on her skin, the burn on her scratched leg, her body low on energy, all she felt was her internal turmoil. "Was I really just born filth? Destined to fail? But I came from the blood of Ozai. The bloodline of the royal family. I am destined to rule."

"But yet I also came from Ursa, the woman that spawned me and Zuko into this world. To leave us as kids to raise another. It's all her fault. She made my blood vile. Why did she have to become Fire Lady? Why not a superior bloodline other than hers? Why was she chosen?"

Azula lay on the tree, thinking about her life. "I was a prodigy to my father. He guided me to greatness at a young age. Zuko received less training and yet there he sits in the thrown. And how did you achieve this? It cannot be his friends, even if one is the Avatar. I was powerful alone, without the traitorous Mai and Ty Lee. My own friends, they turned against me. My mother turned them against me, they all turned against me, and I turned against me. Her own blood turned against me."

Azula held her legs close. "I know the feeling that Zuko has that I never grasped. Love." Azula then smiled. "Love, is that what makes you strong?" Azula laughed. "No, those Air Nomads have love, and what did that lead them, extinction! Love discouraged fighting, love is weak." The pupils in her eyes shrank. "Love is your weakness. And my destiny is my own weakness." Azula looked up into the cloud filled sky and laughed. "My life was filled with greatness, and then it was all taken away like some cruel joke. Is that was my life is, a joke? Just to fill others with joy for only a few moments before they move on."

Azula slowly picked herself up, despite her burned leg. "Now that I think of it, many people are born to fall, and some are already trash. Trash to take care of, trash to laugh at, trash to ignore, trash to throw out." She looked up into the night sky. "Some trash hadn't even begun to live, and yet they were thrown out before they can even try!"

The princess started laughing. "It's weird; it's as if s _omeone_ started this whole line of jokes. Come out, show yourself?" Azula was about to firebend at a shrub, but tripped into the mud and felt her body sinking into the earth. She looked to her side to see what looks like a shrouded figure. "Are you the reason I'm funny to this world? Did you take me down?" Azula held her hand out, only to let it drop as the figure moved closer.

"You must be someone that has power. Someone that can't lose it, someone …. With love." Azula felt herself losing consciousness, and drifted off into slumber.

* * *

Azula body floated weightlessly in a black void. "Where … where am I." Azula opened her eyes and saw nothing. "Hm, am I dead?" Azula looked around. she heard nothing and felt nothing. "I am, I'm truly am."

Azula breathed slowly taking in the moment. "I left my body and now my soul is in the next world. Left it in that wet forest ….. my filth body. I … I no longer have the blood of that wretched woman!" Azula clenched her hands and smiled. "I'm free! I'm truly free from my cursed life!" Azula laughed softly. "I don't have to care about that putrid world. No more Water Tribe, no more Earth Kingdom, no more peasants, no more Avatar, no more weakness, no more Zu-Zu, no more mother. No, Ursa. She's no longer my parent. She has no power over me anymore!"

Azula's voice started to crack in happiness. "It's such a shame really. No one in that world will miss me. All except one …. The one that gave me a chance to strike Ursa down. ….. My … my …. my … I …. Who … who was it?"

Azula's smile disappeared. "I … I can't remember. Who gave me a second chance? Who taught me to fight? Who was I destined to replace when his time ends? Who chose me over my brother ….. wait. What was my brother's name?"

Azula felt her head as her blood pulsed within her veins. "Did I even have a brother? Do I know what a brother is? Do I remember his friends? What are friends? What is Ursa? Wh-Who am I?"

The princess held herself. "I-I can't remember a thing? Why am I here? Is this everything that is? What is everything? What am I saying? What comes out of this … thing? Why do I know so little and yet know so much?!"

The girl's mind raced, sweat ran down her face, her eyes glancing every inch. "I can't handle this. I need help. Help, why is it that I remember what help is and not anything else?" The girl felt her heart beat accelerating. "Help …. I want help. I need Help. Please … I'll do anything?"

Azula remained in her place, pleading for help. Azula closed her eyes, and felt something warm. "Hm?" She slowly opens them to find strands of golden string. "W-What is this?"

"Help."

Azula's eyes shot out. "Who said that?!" Azula frantically looked around, but the golden strands touch her face, giving off a welcoming warmth. "Are you who spoke?" Azula felt the strands and rubbed it onto her face. "You're so warm, and soft." Azula's care melted away. She embraced the strands as more came down. "Are you all what are called, friends?"

"Child. For I am only one for now."

The girl looked around and found herself surrounded by the golden strands. "Where are you?"

"I am above."

The girl slowly looked up and found that the golden strands were actually hair; belonging to a human head alone. The girl gazed at the face of the severed head and saw it looks identical to her own face. "Who are you?"

The head smiled. "I am called many things. But for you, I shall be known as Kami."

"K-Kami?" The girls closed her eyes and hugged her hair. "Do you think I'm a monster? Am I a tool? A fool?"

"My child." The hair patted the girl. "You are great, you are a powerful princess."

"A princess?" the girl looked up with tired eyes. "But why do I feel awful?"

"Because you are great." Kami started to float downwards. "You are greater than everything. Too great for that world."

The girl felt her memories returning. "I know. People praise and feared me. But why am I too good for them?"

The head made eye contact with the girl. "Because they are jealous. Jealous of your beauty, your strength, your blood."

"My blood?" The girl felt fiery in her heart. "But my blood is tainted?"

"Which those people not know of." Kami smiled. "They are too foolish to know what it's like to share the blood one of Raava's many hosts."

"R-Raava? Who is that?"

Kami closed her eyes. "A parasite. A parasite onto that world. It was a parasite to you in many ways. And it was a parasite to me."

"You, what did it do to you?"

"Something that happened long ago; when she possessed her first victim." Kami eyes gaze off. "She and that victim committed a horrific sin to a powerful spirit. A spirit far greater than I."

"Greater than you?" the girl felt Kami's hair. "You are the only comfort I have. "

Kami rubbed her cheeks with the princess. "And he was comfort to me. But was taken down, humiliated, sealed away. Just like you."

The girl had flash backs of her Agni Kai against her brother, and the water peasant that took her down. "Why are you telling me this?"

Kami moved away. "Because Raava is a spirit of light. A light that the world holds onto like a mere doll. But when light overcomes all, there cannot be freedom."

"Freedom?" the girl smiled. "That world I left. There was truly no freedom."

"No, their light blinded them from reality. A reality that you can leave."

"Can? But I've already left."

Kami kissed the girl on the forehead. "Not yet."

The girl's eyes lit up. "But why am I happy?"

"Because you are close to your eternal freedom." From the mouth of Kami, a mist spewed around the princess. "Azula …. Your name is Azula. You are free to choose your destiny. And I know a destiny you can pick."

Azula felt the mist. "What is this?"

"This is a spirit. A spirit that will trap the true filth, and allow ones seeking freedom to experience separation from that other world." Kami frowned and looked away. "The people of light gave it an unfitting name; describing it as a fog to avoid. But I like to call this spirit, Kaze."

Azula watched the mist cover her. "This … I feel all my agony lifting. But … what is wrong with my chest. I feel something going in and out, but it can't be this mist."

Kami's hair strands moved around Azula's head. "To some that is something that is taken for granted. Something that still holds you to that world, your torment."

Azula felt her chest. "How do I stop it?"

Kami's hair moved around Azula's neck. "All you have to do is choose to follow my path and perform a small ritual. Then I'll guide you to your new home."

Then all of Azula's thoughts gathered in her mind. She watched flashbacks of every fail, every betrayal, and every humiliating moment in her life. "I want my new home …."

"Excellent." Kami smiled and licked her lips. "For the ritual. All you have to do is move your legs."

"Move …. My legs."

"Move them, swing them, kick them."

"Yes. I'll follow you, to my new home." As Azula was about to command your legs, something grabbed hold of her. "What is this?!"

Kami's golden hair swiftly turned grey. "Someone's destiny has plans for you." Kami said with an inhuman tone. "You cannot leave now, but maybe you can help show that closed-minded world truth about life." Kami held onto Azula's face. "Then you will follow my path again, and we shall meet once more." Kami's face melted in front of Azula to reveal a battered skull.

* * *

"No! Don't go!" Azula screamed and kicked as hands held her down to the ground. "Unleash me! Give me back …. Who was that? Where I am? Who are you? Who am I?"

Azula opened her eyes and found several figures in dark clocks and masks.

"What was she doing?!" asked one figure who have just entered the room.

"She was about to hang herself." answered another figure. "We thought she would be out cold for days. We didn't think she'll awake this soon."

The figure watched at Azula was pushed into a prison to unleash all her fiery. "Be wary of her fire and lighting!" shouted the figure. "And don't harm her. She's needed to help that puppet who leads the New Ozai Society."

The figure turned to the rope hanging on the beam and cut it. "She even managed to tie such a gruesome exit of this world. Her mind is more tortured then I've imagined." The masked man clenched the rope. "Which allows her to be controlled easily." The figure watched at the other figures swiftly dodged Azula's blue flames. "She'll tire out momentarily. And when she's willing to listen, we'll give her something she will do anything to achieve; Hospitality and love."

 **The End**


End file.
